REVIEW ON THE BOOK WHY HER?: 6 Truths We Need To Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind

Let's Take A Quick Look Back Down Memory Lane

When we admitted that we were a sinner...believed that Jesus came to this earth in the form of a baby...was crucified...buried....rose again... is seated at the right hand of God the Father...confessed Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we became a Christian. (Romans 10 )

We discovered that life's issues and circumstances doesn't bypass us just because we are Christians. Being in this world and impacting others for Christ is a challenge. Inner struggles reveal how we oftentimes view ourselves and so much more. But! the one common thread we have found to be the only solution to every problem, issue and circumstance we face in life, is Jesus Christ. Our relationship with Christ gives us the assurance that God is fighting for our us and has an amazing plan for our lives

Let's talk about this one thing: The reason behind our insecurities

Can you think of a time when questions, thoughts and statements popped in your mind that caused you to second guess yourself? Oh how brutal the 'Comparison Scanner' is; comparing yourself to someone else never brings about anything good in your life.  It leaves you feeling as if you must always be one step ahead and better than the next person in every aspect of life, which is absolutely impossible!

He spoke so eloquently; why did I have to follow behind him? I knew I should have given more details about my career background like the lady did who was sitting next to me. Why does he seem more interested in what she has to say..am I boring?

Do you see what I mean? Insecurities became exasperated the minute you looked at someone else, resulting in you second guessing yourself. Then, to top it all off,  not a positive thought about yourself exists in any of those scenarios.  In life, you will always come in contact with someone who has a bit more experience than you do in a specific area of their lives. That does not mean that you are less than, nor does it mean they are better than you. Every time you activate that 'comparison meter', how you view yourself becomes cloudy. This will result in a change in mindset as you find yourself housing divisive and negative thoughts spilling over into your behavior. ( Proverbs 23:7 ) The next thing you realize, you're convinced that --You are not good enough as ealousy takes  precedence in your life. Now, you harbor disdain towards the person, who did absolutely nothing to you. Your path changes; the newfound mission is to prove that you are better  than the person you have now convinced yourself  is looking down on you.

No one is looking down on you but you; it's all you. You took a look at someone else's life and decided to match yours against theirs. Your insecurities settled in and plunged you into  a whirlwind of being on top.  When we take responsibility for our actions, we can begin to move in the right direction to freedom from this negative  attribute. The saying is true: 'Honesty Is The Best Policy.'

Let's be honest about this, we all have compared ourselves to someone else at some point in our lives.

We even see it take place in the Bible story of Rachel and Leah. The two sisters who  compared their lives against each other all because of a man, their husband. Here's a brief synopsis of this story: Jacob took one look at Rachel and loved her; he had to marry her. So, he went to her father and let him know that he would work seven years for him in order to obtain her hand in marriage. Rachel's father complied and when the time came, unbeknownst to Jacob, his veiled wife was Rachel's sister Leah. Jacob was furious when he found out he had been tricked. His love for Rachel was strong; he worked an additional seven years just to obtain Rachel's hand in marriage.

This was the beginning of the sisters battle against each other.  Leah knew that Jacob did not love her and that his love was only for her sister Rachel. So, in order to assuage her feelings of inadequacies and in an effortless attempt to make Jacob love her, she bore him a son and then a second, third and fourth. Rachel was unable to conceive and out of jealousy, she gave Jacob her servant to conceive baby number one and then baby number two.  Thus began the baby conceiving competition between these two sisters, who used their servants in their battle to outdo one another. This lasted up until Rachel's womb was opened the second time around, and she bore her second  son. This particular labor had been a hard one for Rachel; after naming her son, she died.

Before reading about these two sisters in the book Why Her? I only knew the basics about this story. After reading this story, what I found to be rather saddening is how Jacob's love for Rachel was not enough for her. Rachel's seasons of infertility was her insecurity, which blinded her from seeing the love her husband had for her in the midst of her infertility. In the end, Rachel died; her husband
grieved for her, but she never experienced  the depth of her husband's love because she focused throughout her entire marriage on outdoing her sister. Then there was Leah, who knew without a shadow of the doubt that Jacob did not live her.  Leah  hoped that Jacob would love her because she was having his son's and she gave her servants to him to have his son's, but it changed absolutely nothing. He only had eyes and a love for Rachel and no matter how hard Leah tried, she was not the one in his eyes. Instead of enjoying life, these  two sisters poured their time into trying to outdo one another. I don't want to miss out in life all because I wasted it away competing against someone else.


When we do not handle our very own insecurities appropriately, it breeds this competitive spirit and causes us to divert from our very own purpose that God created us to fulfill.

Competing against the person(s) beside you, in front of you and behind you is draining and most of all time consuming. Feelings of inadequacy; the Spirit of competition is not of God! They are guises the devil uses to keep you off of the path God has mapped out for your life. When facing this challenge, address any pleasure you  relish  in regarding the flaws and shortcomings you see in someone else's life. Feeling good about yourself at the expense of someone else's flaws is not good. So, just know, everything you find wrong in someone else's life--there is a list that can be made of  what's wrong in yours. One solution to eradicating that pious spirit is prayer. Pray that God will remove every feeling that is leading you to compare, compete and feel better than or less than the next person. Then, pray that God will bless whomever are having these issues against and refuse to feed and cultivate any feelings that will throw you back down that spiraling path of misery.

God did not create us to waste our lives....He called us to impact lives and point others to Him.

Why Her? by Nicki Koziarz is a great read. This book is humorous and down to earth. It consists of so many practical applications, self-evaluation questions and biblically infused truths. This book gives instructions on how to overcome this attribute of comparison God's way.

An Online Bible Study for this book is currently underway. For more information regarding the Study and the book  Click Here. 

God Bless!